"When I play pretend, I'm an ambitious person..."

I get inspired from just about about anything positive. I see people helping people and I know that I should help more people. I hear friends encouraging other friends and I know I should to be more encouraging. I know I should do more especially when it comes to things that I care deeply about. I should use what God has given to me to help other people. My problem has always been follow through. I get so caught up in the emotion and extravaganza of it all and that's all I pull away or give to it. And I go along with my life as if those moments never touched me. How sad that I am wasting my life. A quote I just read: “You have to believe that your life has meaning and purpose BEFORE you see that it does. If you believe it then you will be doing the right things, and saying the right things, and putting yourself in the right situations to see that your life has meaning and purpose but if you HAVE to believe it before you SEE it.” Sometimes I believe my life has a great purpose but maybe that's only because I hear my Momma's voice in my head other times when I fail or I disappoint myself I don't believe my life has purpose, but I want so badly to believe it. Don't start with Jeremiah 29:11 please. So we've gone from things that ought to be done and purpose and where's my point..?

My point is that my purpose is being slammed into the ground because of my lack of follow through. It sucks. I.hate.it.with.everything.inside.of.me. So now how do I turn it around? Well I got the title of this post from a Atlanta based Photographer (who is amazing) that I have been following for a few months. He posted this call to action on his blog about serving in your community with what you have. I have two things that I can use: a passion for helping people and my outdated camera. Those are good enough. I'm going to stop sitting here and thinking about what all I could do and I'm going do it. I'm 21 years old and for the first time I know what I want to do with my life and it's time I start doing it. The only person stopping me is me. I suck as a person, but I'm taking the first step to getting out of this rut that I put myself in. I hope in 20 years I look back on this moment and realize that's when started living out my purpose and dreams.

www.zarias.com is the blog where I got the inspiration from. Read it.

Bittersweet Road

Jared & I are a almost a week shy of celebrating our 9 month old marriage. Through this time we have experienced many joyful highs and very devastating lows. It didn't help that the first 2 months that we were married we fought nearly every moment we were around each other. Thankfully our relationship has gone gotten much, much, better since those days. Sometimes I just sit and think about the wonderful man I married. I still can't get over it. It brings me to tears when I think about Jared. He's the most wonderful, compassionate, loyal, genuine, thoughtful, loving person that I've ever met. I still get floored when I think that God chose ME to cherish this gift (Jared) He's given me. I cannot imagine why God chose me for Jared, but I am incredibly thankful that He did. I know I married out of my league.

I have this raging force inside of me to protect him and our marriage. I get violently mad when someone hurts him or brushes him off. Right after Jared & I got married a few friends that were the absolute closest to us left us. There was no falling out, argument, or anything to insight discord- they just disappeared. It's like all of a sudden we weren't cool. Before we were married we were out every weekend just blowing and going like we always did then BAM no one is around and it's just the two of us. We couldn't figure it out. Our friends were still hanging out with our other friends and life seemed to be rocking right along for them. And we were left completely out of the picture. Jared & I tried to contact these people every way possible by technology known to man and we never got a single response. (There's a happy ending I promise!)....

So at the time we were going through this dry and lonely season the most beautiful thing came out of it. Jared & I started to grow so much closer to each other and became really good friends. And we started hanging out with our families more and became so much closer with them. So it was like we felt completely abandoned and God led us into a deeper relationship with Him and with each other. It amazes me that God knew who and what to get out of the picture so that we could grow closer together. I wouldn't trade those bittersweet days for anything. God allowed all of that to happen for a purpose and as long as there is some sort of positive purpose I'm ok with going through some crap.

If Jared & I had not been stretched I don't think I could ever written how wonderful he is like I did above. God grew my love for Jared and Jared's love for me. I am head over heels in love with my husband and I would go through a thousand years of struggle if only to get a little closer to him.

Petey, My Kitchen Inspiration

The other day Jared & I were walking around Lowes to get some inspiration for our new home that we hope to have soon. I was pretty focused on the kitchen during our excursion. We picked out a chandelier (I love, love, love chandeliers!) that we couldn't live without and as we were walking back over to the area where they keep all the kitchen hardware & appliances I saw Petey. He was nudged in a corner and his price was $4! I immediately fell in love with the little guy and decided that he was going to be my kitchen inspiration. He reminded me of something that would sell at Anthropolgie for $40. After I saw Petey Jared & I went to the paint department and then I picked out paint colors for our comfy kitchen. The idea I have in my head for our kitchen is exactly what I want and I'm hoping I can pull it all together. In my mind I can adjust any house to fit the idea of what I want our kitchen to look like. The colors and how it's decorated is the most important part to me. I'm pretty picky on how I want our house to look. Make sense? Petey just brings it all together for me. It's kind of like when I went to do our wedding registry at Bed Bath & Beyond and I was picking out towels with my sweet mother-in-law. I picked out some different colored towels and Dorenda looked at me like I was crazy, but once I pulled it all together she liked it. I have a feeling that's how the kitchen and pretty much the rest of the house will go. I just get an idea and run with it. My taste is definitely not the norm, and I'm cool with that.

His name is Petey because of the bird off of Dumb & Dumber. Our all time favorite movie!

I'd really like for our house to be like walking into a James Taylor, Eric Clapton, or John Mayer song. Nice, easy and comfortable. A place where you could just sit back and let the atmosphere rock you to sleep. That's what I'm going for overall.

For now, we need to close on a house and start packing!

Kennedy Piper & Grace Kathleen

My nieces are seriously too gorgeous for words. Kennedy is a ball of energy and completely stubborn. Gracie is the sweetest baby I've ever been around. She loves to cuddle so she's my kind of girl. Kennedy will scream if you try to cuddle with her. I love seeing them and I try to see them anytime I can. They grow so fast and every time I see them they change. I remember when Kennedy was an infant.. she was the most difficult child. She always (still does) need attention. Gracie is content with playing with her toys and simply being held. The girls are polar opposites. I cannot imagine life without them. I love them completely and I hope one day I'll be the cool Aunt that they'll want to come hangout with. :)